December

Vikki: In geography, we didn't even learn about the world, we learnt about ectomic plates and stuff.

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Jenny: We should start a zoo, that'll be exciting.
Vikki: Yeah, I'll be a zebra.

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Vikki: He's a virgin... And he's never had sex!

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Kirsty: They're really long as well.
Vikki: It's because they're short.

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Vikki: Who was the one who was put on the cross, God or Jesus?

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Kirsty: Would you rather be a Christmas tree or a phone?
Vikki: A phone.
Kirsty: Why?
Vikki: So people will touch me.

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March

Vikki: Do you understand the world?
Sophie: What do you mean?
Vikki: Like Europe's a continent... is that right?
Jenny: yep.
Vikki: Yeah it's a continent.. hey! Continent, like vowel and continent!

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February

*Just driven past the angel of the north*

Sophie: So, where are the northern lights then?

*later on that night*

Vikki: If the northern lights were going to be in England, they'd be in Scotland, cuz that's the most northern place in England. 

Everyone: No...

Vikki: Oh, I dumbed a dumb.

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Vikki: It's funny though, because you can't get wet in water.

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Sophie: I think uni should be optional.

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Vikki: So, cavemen and dinosaurs weren't alive at the same time?

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Kirsty: How do you spell dyslexic? 

Jenny: Oh the irony...

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Ema: I've only worked 10 hours this week.

Kirsty: Well what are you on an hour?

Ema: £6.08

Kirsty: Well that's £6.80... Wait...

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Sophie: You know, sometimes when I'm watching cartoons, I forget animals can't really talk.

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Vikki: Is Frankenstein real?

Amy and Kirsty: No, it's a book.

Sophie: No, it is real, we studied it in history.

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Amy: That's Hollandish

Sophie: Hollandish?

Amy: Yeah, Hollandish.

Sophie: Even I know it's Dutch!

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*Talking about Anne Frank*

Vikki: Who's Anne Frank?

Sophie: Isn't she one of Henry VIII's wives?

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Vikki: So, is Europe like what America is?

Kirsty: Do you mean is Europe a continent? 

Vikki: Yeah.

Jenny and Kirsty: Yes.

Vikki: So, then why... I don't understand the world.

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Vikki: I thought Oxford was in London.

Kirsty and Lucy: Yeah, so did I.

Vikki: I thought it was like the capital of London.

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December

Vikki: Why do they call a toilet a lavatory when that's the place where they do experiments?

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Jenny: Ooh, it's Judi Dench's birthday today. And John Malkovich.
Sophie: Why do all your friends have posh names?

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Jenny: Ooh, this could be our new local pharmacy.
Kirsty: Ooh, that could be our new local undertakers.
Sophie: What's an undertakers?
Jenny: Like funeral care.
Kirsty: Dead people and stuff.
Sophie: Oh, I though it was a wrestling thing.

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Amy: I've just put explanation mark, explanation mark.
Jenny: Do you mean exclamation mark?
(Amy looks confused)
Amy:... I don't know....

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(Discussing the previous quote)
Vikki: Yeah, but isn't that what it is?
Kirsty and Jenny: What?
Vikki: Explanation mark?
Kirsty: No, it's exclamation mark.
Vikki: But it's spelt explanation mark...

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Sophie: What's that French painting called? M... Mm...
Kirsty: Mona Lisa?
Sophie: Yeah, that one, I was thinking of Madeleine McCann...

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Danni: Joan of arc? Is that the one that put the animals on the arc?

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November

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(Joking about killing herself)
Sophie: You should never kill yourself, you're too wisdomu... You're too wisdomus.Wisdomus?
Kirsty: Wise?!
Sophie: Ooohh, but they don't even sound the same.

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(After a conversation about Michael Jackson)
Vikki: So why is Cher white?

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Sophie: Ah, I'm having a heart attack in my back!

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(Talking about the high rate of STIs in old people)
Kirsty: Our lecturer said, and I quote, "If there's one thing you take away from this lecture, it's use it or lose it"
Sophie: Why? If you get an STI when you're older do you have to have it chopped off?

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(Talking about a piece of the gerbil cage)
Jenny: I think I'm going to keep this.
Kirsty: Yeah, keep it as a momentous.
Jenny: Haha, I think you mean memento...
Kirsty: Sometimes I wonder how our house got into university.

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Brief overview of everything said so far...

Sophie: I hope you don't wake up dead tomorrow.

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Sophie: What is rice?
Kirsty (taking the piss): It's a vegetable
Sophie: No it's not, don't be stupid
Kirsty: Why do you think they have rice field if it's not for rice vegetables?
Sophie: Oh, yeah...

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(The whole house starts a conversation about platypi)
Sophie: Yeah, but they don't exist
Everyone: What?

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(Sophie shows us the dinosaur walk)
Sophie: And that's why some people have small arms and hands, because they evolved from dinosaurs.
*shocked silence*

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(After a discussion about whether nipples grow back, Amy leaves the room)
Sophie: Is she okay?
Jenny: I think you've offended her (jokingly)
Sophie: What? How?
Kirsty: It's all this talk of nipples.
Sophie: What? What do you mean?
Jenny: You know, because she doesn't have any...
Kirsty: It's a sensitive subject
Sophie: Oh my god, seriously? Is she really upset?
(At this point none of us could believe she was actually believing this)
Sophie: Should I go and say sorry?
Kirsty: Well, yeah...
Jenny: She's doesn't really want everyone to know.
(Sophie goes to find Amy)
Sophie: I'm really sorry, have I offended you?
Amy: What? Why?
Sophie: You know, because you don't have any nipples
Amy: Erm, what? Yeah, I do.
Sophie: No you don't, it's okay.

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Sophie: I'm going to hay my gorge field.
Amy: do you mean plough?
Sophie: Yeah... I'm going to... yeah....

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(Talking about Swaziland)
Vikki: My friend's gone to India for a holiday.
Jenny: Erm cool, they're not even on the same continents but cool.
Vikki: Aren't they?!
Kirsty: No, Africa's a continent and India's a continent.
Jenny: No Kirsty. No. India is in Asia.
Sophie: Even I fucking knew that!

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Sophie: Are zombies real?
Vikki: Yeah, are they?
(Rest of the house looks at one another in disbelief)
Sophie: No, I mean are they like ghosts.